Shana

I used it for the first time last night. It was very scary administering it myself. (The nurse even directed me to take an ativan, too.) So much so that I emptied an empty dropper/dose of it the first try. I finally slept well last night. In fact, I plan on going back to bed soon.

I used the electric wheelchair/cart. It was soooooooooo much fun! Fortunately, there were no casualties though I was tempted. Unfortunately, after the huge excursion I only managed to sleep for an hour. I bought myself a 16GB purple ipod! It feels really good to get out of the house for fun stuff especially since it has been months since I was able to do so. Using my lightweight wheelchair and walker are not as fun. They do not allow me as much independence. The walker is also almost a foot too ...

Those are two words to describe my dr. visit today. My oncologist used the dreaded 'h' word. HOSPICE (:which is care for the final stages of life). I am not that far advanced but the reality is that is in my future. It looks like my current chemo is not working which is why I have all the fluid leaking/building in my abdomen. (I have my eighth drain tomorrow for which I will be blissfully medicated.) I have had almost 50 liters drained from my abdomen since 01/07/2009 and it has only been a week ...

It was for approximately $45,000 for a month. I don't know if that even included the fees for my oncologist. Holy shit. I am so glad I have health insurance currently. Now I am trying not to stress for what happens when I am no longer eligible. :/

EDIT: I forgot to add that they want me to pay $20.

Saw this last night.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roJzWYiXFtg