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I find myself wishing I was bear more and more with each day that passes.



sigh.

So I've barely had any sleep the past few nights. This has to do with finals, insomnia, and probably a bit of temporary depression and anxiety. I also hadn't eaten very much either. Probably for the same reasons.

Well after turning in my take home exam, I had to run a few errands. One of which was stopping by Jimmy John's for a Veggie Sub (I'm addicted). There was only one person running the shop. He had short black hair and a few piercings in each ear. I opened my AFI wallet to ...

Now he's in love. With me. Oh fuck.

NOT A GOOD IDEA.

He barely knows me! I've seen him maybe 7 times in my entire life. First time we met, we kissed, no big deal. It was like a whatever thing for me. 18 months later, he's engaged to a girl who was one of my best friends in highschool (I don't really see her that often, and dont really like her as a friend anymore, shes gone a bit weird) and last night we made out again. Would not have been a big deal if it wasn't for ...

I found out the girl I've been in love with for three years is pregnant. She's apparently known since September or so, and just never told me. Probably never will. I feel like someone punched me in the stomach.

on a scale of one to ten. Things have been so difficult lately. I have little stamina and find it difficult to complete even the simplest of tasks. I am so used to being independent that it is driving me nuts.

I got bloodwork earlier today and it turns out I need another blood transfusion. (I had one last month.) I also have an infection and need to pick up my antibiotics later tonight. I still may have to get another round of chemo in 2008. Is it ever going to fucking end?
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