Ambition, bitter ambition.
by, 01-21-11 at 08:03 AM (967 Views)
Ah, I'm not doing well with this adjustment into adulthood. I know, I know. Who ever does merge gracefully into a prosperous adult? Oh but the stagnant pauses I've been taken are eating away at me. All those unanswered questions I had in high school still remain even now nigh four years later. who am I? Who do I want to be? Will I ever be proud of the person I am and the life I live? The anxiety alone keeps me up for hours.
And where is that old drive? Was it really so much easier back in school when my achievements could be measured so cheaply, and time could be measured... at all? I hated how my hard work seemed to fall on deaf ears and admired by blind eyes. Oh, but at least it was appreciated in some form or another. I was pushed, even half heatedly, for something more. And now it all seems to have just evaporated like so much ink on the fading diploma. Ambition, you cruel bitch, where have you gone?
And I am not alone, so many of my friends have fallen into this same rut. My very brothers struggling with their boredom with the ropes they tied around themselves. I want it back, I want it back!!! But where to go, where to go?
Heh.. thus is the life, I suppose.