Jose C.

Putting up façades.

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Jose C.
, 03-21-11 at 02:55 AM (905 Views)
It is impressive how the hiding of feelings works most of the times. I am at work right now, and accidentally listened to a conversation of one of my partners. I rarely talk to him, but when I do he always wears a smile on his face, as if there was nothing wrong in his life. We talk about football, video games, ... just small talk, but he looks happy with his life; you know what I mean. Only 10 minutes ago I went out of my office, and overheard a conversation of him on the phone with someone. I don't know who he was talking to, but his side of the conversation talked about personal information/problems I could have never imagined.

This made me wonder: what impression of me do others have? I NEVER talk about personal matters at work. I believe that no one could give these things the level of importance they hold for me. Actually, the mere fact that one could undermine something that matters so much to me is what prevents me from sharing my personal life with others. So I build this wall that I show to others, which leads them to make their own assumptions about me, which lead to wrong assumptions.

I have come to believe that if there were no façades built around people, we would have so much more respect for each other.
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Comments

  1. DarkRedTears's Avatar
    When I was younger, my mother went to prison. At the time, she forbade me from speaking about it, and and a result, I became very depressed for the despair I suddenly felt and could go to no one for help therein, and that made the situation so much worse. Since realizing said silence was actually detrimental to my emotional health, I live as an open book now. Yes, of course, I maintain a certain level of tactfulness when I speak, but since, the people I have connected with and who have given me empathy and support far out weigh the handful who wrinkle their noses.

    So, to the point, I agree with you.......to a certain extent.
  2. Theresa's Avatar
    Jose, I don't look at it as being a 'wall" persay. I think you give what you want to give and that's okay. Especially at work, where most people just want to gossip, giving too much of what's going on with you and your life isn't always the way to go. Work relations can be tricky..I mean I actually spend more time with my co workers than I do my best friends when you think about the amount of hours spent with these people in a day...but the more you involve yourself in thier lives, and vice versa, the more problems you involve yourself with.

    Maybe it's just me, and everyone has their own way of dealing with things, but I don't want to know all my co workers' business, so the less the tell me the better. I have one girl at work that tells me how constipated she was all weekend...now that's just way too much information. lol. Then there are some people who do hold everything inside and when they are having a bad day, take it out on others. I'm the type of person who tends to wear their heart on their sleeve, so in that respect I'm just the opposite. But I do hold most details in..gotta save something for myself

    You bring up some excellent points and it's an interesting conversation Jose.
  3. CaughtBetween's Avatar
    Imagine talking to every stranger you meet and telling them every shitty thing in your life. It would be rather depressing after a while. Although I understand where you're coming from, at the same time I understand where your coworker is coming from. Sometimes people need a break and just want to be happy, even if certain circumstances suck.