AMirthlessLaugh

I stopped at a convenience store on my way to work this morning to buy some milk. As I dug through the dairy case looking for a two-litre container that wasn't going to expire before I had even left the store, I was struck with a strange thought: how brutal would that be to be a jug of Homo milk? I mean, who was the marketing genius that decided to shorten Homogenized and plaster the container with "Homo"? Talk about an unfortunate name. I'll bet the second I closed that cooler door and walked away the 2%, the 1% and the skim started bullying the Homo. Again.

SKIM: Hey, Homo, how's it going down there, Homo?

HOMO: Ssssshut up, you guysssssss.

SKIM: Why don't you come over here and make me shut up, Homo?

2%: (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)

1%: Yeah, Homo why don't you come over here and make him, Homo?

You know, if I've learned one thing about shopping for milk over the years it's this: Homo takes great pride in keeping a neat, tidy, well-organized shelf. Despite being tormented by bullies, Homo puts on a brave face. Don't think your plight goes unnoticed, Homo.

Be strong, Homo, be strong.

Garner Andrews deserves everything he gets. Awesomest man ever.