Haley Ryane

lists. i need them. i've let way too many things build up, and now i have no money to fix them with. i don't even remember what i spent all my christmas money on, but i'm guessing it was something stupid....
i need hair dye, a hair cut, new clothes, new music, new reading material (i can feel myself getting stupider), new shoes, new ideas, brain cleanser...i need to clean my room, practice guitar about 227456983746x more than i do, get my grades up to As, figure out what the hell we're talking about in pre-algebra, research a hella lot of bands/singers/genres/people in general, finish writing my book****, get over my stupid, nonsense crush...
ejrghipweru jhiu!!!!
life just kind of sucks right now. i mean, at least it's not emotionally or physically damaging to have a never ending list of things to do, but it's still really stressful. i feel like a whiner whenever i talk about it though, because my best friend has way more serious things going on in her life right now. i'm a shitty friend, but hey, she's a shitty friend too. we understand that about each other.

i need to go out and do things. and i need to take a second and calm down. that never works when i try it though because i'm a bad problem solver. really, i'm just one big pile of lame. i really wish i was born about ten years before i was, so i would be past all this by now and i would know more references and i could have started getting into important stuff sooner....
i also wish i hadn't spent all my summer babysitting money on stupid clothes that i don't even like anymore. nearly all my shirts are from hot topic, and i hate it because i don't even like that store anymore because hot topic made it too easy to be unique, therefore everyone gets stuff from there, therefore making it not unique....
i wish i lived in an actualy city where i could just go downtown and look in the shops there to find awesome stuff....
i wish my therapist hadn't moved away, and i wish my new therapist would stop canceling appointments...and i wish that appleseed was not the only therapist center near where i live...and i wish that i didn't need a therapist...
i've really lost a lot of faith in everyone around me, so i can't depend on them to help me out...this will be a nice thing to have under my belt when i'm older, but right now it just sucks...
i'm pretty sure i'm being the biggest crybaby in the world right now. there are bigger problems out there. but it's my life and all that crap...gah.

overandout,
Haley Sunshine