shine

i'm pretty sure its just because things have been stressful for both of us but i've really been wondering if it wouldn't be better for me to end things with chris. god, that sucks. i just can't deal with not being able to see him when i need him. and if he wasn't mine to see.. i don't know if it would be easier or not.

i'm good at being alone. i can deal with that.
but i can not deal with being alone when its not something i can control. if that makes sense. i can't have a relationship once a week.

seriously how is any of this fair.
i know i know i know life isn't fair but i want it to fucking be my turn to have things go right. god knows i've waited long enough.