DesprateLove

i met KATIE!!!!!
it was fun
in san fran hanging out with 3 other DFers
sooooo great being with afi fans
good people
all yall
so ya
im trying to get back into eating but its really hard for me...
i got down to 117 then started talking to steven again and he makes me eat...or i just have to eat....or i dunno
just i eat a lot when i talk to him
....weird...maybe cause im upset and i cant cut?
ewww im gonna be like 300lbs or super cut up during college....or just have a bunch of tattoos or dead...i really hope its the third one....really....i dont want to die that severly recently...
so i think im gonna get guilt triped into getting married
yes im 16 how messed up is that
really???! like wtf mate...
i dont want him to die cause hes a really cool person but then hes likes 'i dont think i could handle not being loved'
hes messing with me sooo bad....i dont want him to die but i dont want to date him...sometimes i think that ill have to just say fuck off you make me miserable and you are guilting me into love
ya...that would be the end of him prolly..but im 16 and hes all like i dont want you to date other guys or kiss anyone....oh ya and we arnt dating anymore either
seriously someone tell me something to give me courage to make him give me space....hes smothering me...this is supposed to be the best time of my life and im scared and miserable all the time....i thought i was dont with that part of my life...lame
and way so that boy is supposed to move to so cal and were in nor cal right now..so like yesterday he said "i dont think i should move because i dont want to lose you"
and i know hes gonna want to move where ever i go to college so like i dont want to tell him where im going....its scary...hes also 20..and hes clinging to me like a baby monkey...

some advise or like movie status help confidence would be AMAZING!!
please ill love you forever ^^