areyouin

I fail

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by
areyouin
, 08-16-08 at 12:27 PM (456 Views)
Seriously, after July the last few weeks have been great. Everything was the way it should be, and this week everything went tits up.

First of why must I go look at my ex boyfriend myspace? I was so in love with him and really ready to marry him. Now I haven't had him for 4 months, so why do I see the need to go look at his new pictures? He just gets better looking everytime I see him. My god does he have to be so damn gorgeous?!

Secondly and more importantly. I thought I had this eating disorder beat, I thought I was over it. I haven't felt the urge to vomit for months, I was doing so damn well then BANG! It just comes back with a vengeance. I hate being like this, I really hate it. I can't even think of food without wretching, I really thought I had it beat. I know that it's only myself that's making it happen, it's all in my head but it's so damn hard! I don't want to feel like this, I really dont.
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Comments

  1. Miraenda's Avatar
    I'm sorry you ended up going backwards rather than forwards from your troubles. Just move on and don't look at his page anymore (maybe block the page on your computer even, you can block things in the firewall or have them redirect in the hosts file to another location in Windows). You likely redeveloped the eating disorder due to going to his page if it happened after you did.
  2. Shana's Avatar
    Sometimes you have to take a step back to go forward. Stop being so hard on yourself! Stress is only going to make things worse!

    Hang in there!
  3. Abongachong's Avatar
    Hang in there, I know you can beat this. Don't get discouraged, you have to keep fighting and you will get there! If you ever need to chat, give us a holler
  4. Undercover's Avatar
    I hope it all gets better.
    If you feel like a pointless rant or complain, I'm always up for it.
    It might make you feel better