by, 08-16-08 at 12:27 PM (456 Views)
Seriously, after July the last few weeks have been great. Everything was the way it should be, and this week everything went tits up.
First of why must I go look at my ex boyfriend myspace? I was so in love with him and really ready to marry him. Now I haven't had him for 4 months, so why do I see the need to go look at his new pictures? He just gets better looking everytime I see him. My god does he have to be so damn gorgeous?!
Secondly and more importantly. I thought I had this eating disorder beat, I thought I was over it. I haven't felt the urge to vomit for months, I was doing so damn well then BANG! It just comes back with a vengeance. I hate being like this, I really hate it. I can't even think of food without wretching, I really thought I had it beat. I know that it's only myself that's making it happen, it's all in my head but it's so damn hard! I don't want to feel like this, I really dont.